| 002; there's a wocket... |
[23 May 2010|03:36am] |
I was shopping in Muggle Paris and I went into this two story building which had the oddest contraption I have ever seen. They were like the moving stair cases only, well, different. They were more metallic and louder-- a lot louder. I was standing in front of them just debating whether they were safe, you know, for using right? Well this old lady walks up behind me and starts grumbling in French. I only speak a little French so I asked her as best I could, whether she thought they were safe or not-- and she laughs at me, and pushes me forward! Really! Pushes, and it was a strong push for an old lady. Arms like trees that wench. Either way, I ended up being forced on to the noisy, moving, metal staircase of death, and I was clinging to the railing for dear life (the railing moved too though-- it was most impressive!). The entire time the woman behind me was chuckling, and the closer we got to the top the more confused I was. There was a sign with red letters that said: "Caution watch your step" (in French), but I didn't understand why I would watch my step. Did it mean I should literally watch the step I was on? Naturally, I followed the directions as it advised and I watched the step I was on, only to be tripped at the end by this weird vacuum which sucked up the stairs, and proceeded to try and suck up the skirt I was wearing as well. It was terrifying. I thought the thing was going to strip me naked. I ended up being down to my slip and camisole in the middle of this store, and the woman behind me was laughing maniacally the whole time. Eventually something clicked or I did something unintentionally but I blew out the motor in it. I just I got hysterical enough that I didn't even need to take out my wand, it just went out by itself. I wasn't sure how to explain that to my mother.
Brilliant, well I'm off to explain why I had to topple a light pole while performing my civic duty, and then after that I assume they'll make me run laps. I'm only joking now. They won't make me run laps-- they'll make me clean the floor with a tooth brush.
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| 001; oh the places you'll go. |
[03 May 2010|11:44pm] |
I nearly got hit by a bus the other day. Some idiot tried to I think, oh what do they call it. It's where someone tries to take your purse. Muggling? No wait that's not right. Tugging? Smugging! I was smugged! Well I wasn't smugged, I stopped them. I hit them in the face with my umbrella. Stupid smuggler. Either way, in the epic battle for my purse (which was rather ironic seeing as how there was nothing in it but a compact mirror and money which he wouldn't have been able to use) we got all the way out into the middle of the street and by this time I was doing a lot of yelling at him, and he was yelling at me something about that this wasn't how a Smuggling was supposed to go, and one of those delightful red buses came our way. You know-- the double decker kind? I rather fancy them. Anyways, I naturally wasn't about to move for a Muggle bus, that makes no sense, so I kept up the fight, and he just left! He tried to take me with him on account of the fact he thought that lovely red bus would strike me. Honestly, why would a bus hit me? They aren't for hitting people with. They're for moving Muggles! I tried to explain that to him, as he seemed pretty scared, and I felt bad for the bloke, he was so hysterical about this bus hitting me, so I obliged and let him move me. He said I could keep my purse, just I had to go back to France or where ever it was I was from originally.
I think I made a new friend though! My smuggler's name was William. He didn't want to tell me his name, but I insisted because I told him mine-- that's only polite isn't it? I gave him a chocolate frog for his sorrows and suggested he get a job instead of trying to smug me. He said he'd think about it. I hope he gets a job! It was pretty fun for my first smuggling.
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| a more or less random memory of alice longbottom. |
[13 Apr 2010|04:12pm] |
Alice was having the time of her life opening and closing the pink floral umbrella her mother had sent her. Care packages were a regular thing in Alice's life, even now that she was an adult in her own right and out of Hogwarts. The presents kept coming and if they hadn't, spoiled and indulged Alice would have had to wonder what she had done to so offend her parents. One of the more envied and teased girls of Hufflepuff, Alice was forever receiving gifts of all kinds from her parents. Usually clothing, but there was always the occasion accessory or useful little contraption for study or otherwise. Sometimes gag gifts were sent, but either way there were always presents. She was an only child and while she was away it seemed to ease her mother's anxieties to dote upon her daughter from afar. The umbrella she had would be classified as a gag gift seeing as how she had no real need for one. She could simply use a rain repelling charm and that would be that. What a quaint little invention was what her mother had written in her letter. Isn't it silly? It was silly but also quite sweet. Alice fancied it something that was a throw back to a simpler and more gentile time. She couldn't wait to twirl it around and discuss umbrella things with different Muggles she encountered. She supposed she would blend right in now!
Impatiently she waited for rain but she didn't have to wait too long, after all, it was London and it was bound to rain eventually. She got dressed up for the occasion, making sure to wear a pink skirt and white blouse to match the umbrella. Yes, this was an event to remember. Her plan was to go to Frank's place, umbrella in tow and she could show it off. She really had to hand it to Muggles. It was a relatively intricate invention that functioned without any of that electricity business. She marveled at the tiny wire prongs which bloomed into an effective portable shelter. While she knew it was more than likely uncalled for she still felt as though she had reached some rite of passage, that now she would look like quite the grown person walking the streets of London confidently with her umbrella.
Alice waited patiently outside of Frank's building waiting to be buzzed in. She figured it was taking him so long because she never buzzed. No one did. They simply apparated and why wouldn't they? She wondered if he even knew where the button was that he had to press. A Muggle woman walked up the steps and eyed her suspiciously. "That's a pretty umbrella, dear" she said. Alice's eyes widened and she stood a bit straighter. "Isn't it nice?" Alice responded happily. "I've never had an umbrella before!" The woman smiled back politely. "Is that so?" she murmured. "Why of course it's so! Do you have an umbrella?" Alice asked with a hint of concern. "Yes, dear." Alice clapped her hands excitedly. "That's wonderful! May I see it?"
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